Should

Friday, December 11, 2020

Dear Friends,

I’ve been sitting in Luke 12:35-48 trying to squeeze meaning and relevance from it and I’m coming up empty. I’ve committed to writing these daily Advent reflections and I’ve found complete joy to do so. I feel filled up even as I give out because God’s pouring through me, but right now, in this moment, I’m stuck.

And I wonder if you feel stuck too.

Advent is supposed to look a specific way. Christmas is supposed to look a specific way. I feel like my expectations and “shoulds” are getting in the way of what God wants to do in my life, and I wonder if that’s happening to you too. It’s hard to move into this season when nothing looks like it “should.” There’s a greater difficulty in the Advent-waiting for most of us because we don’t have a familiar picture to look forward to. Our common traditions and the way we’ve always done Christmas has become topsy-turvy-messy and it's hard to find footing. So it makes the Advent-waiting different. 

But friends, different isn’t bad. And different might be what we all need for fresh eyes to an old story contained in the porcelain figures in an old barn on your mantle. This old, old story that Advent-waiting has forever pointed to became hijacked years ago. Your Nativity scene barely fits anywhere anymore and is put out as an afterthought in some corner surrounded by nutcrackers and tinsel. 

Maybe feeling stuck in “the different” is the right irritant needed to start moving away from the “shoulds” we feel guilty over. Maybe God is inviting you to pay attention to this topsy-turvy-messy time once again. And not to create new “shoulds” of traditions or rituals. Those are good and I encourage you to discover those for yourself and family. But I think, in this Advent-waiting, God is inviting us to pay attention to the old, old story where God came near, undoing every expectation of “should” and replacing it with “be.” 

Maybe you’re stuck. And maybe God has something for you while you’re waiting to get unstuck. What does your body need right now? What does your mind need right now? Your spirit? What does your spirit need right now? 

Sometimes it feels like I’m going nowhere and I’m not sure where I’m headed, especially since everything looks different right now. This is disorienting, particularly when I place a burden on myself like I’m some guide. But, friends, sometimes when I feel I’m nowhere, Holy Spirit reminds me I’m actually now-here and I’m not alone and now-here is where I’m supposed to be, even when everything looks different and the “shoulds” keep piling up. 

As you wait, may you be now-here and may you know God has come near. 

With (love),

Bethany