Identity Crisis
Thursday, December 10, 2020
Ezekiel 34:1-2, 10
“The word of the Lord came to me: ‘Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock?’
“This is what the Sovereign Lord says: ‘I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock.’
Dear Friends,
As you can probably guess, I was homeschooled. This was a different kind of homeschooling than most of our kids are experiencing right now on Zoom and Google Classroom. I was homeschooled to the tune of Bob Jones and Abeka with five kids in old desks scattered around our small/cozy home. My Mom schooled, fed, diapered, nursed, and disciplined with the patience of a saint whose lung capacity for long lectures never ran low.
I tell you this because sometimes we can be harshest with our own kind. I can accurately pick out homeschooled kids and adults in a line-up if needed. There’s something *special* about our lot—we’re kinder than most but also a little socially awkward. We can beat you in Sword Drills but suck at Cards Against Humanity (because we’re super embarrassed, duh). In the past I’ve felt I earned the right to be more harsh, snarky and honest when talking about homeschoolers because I was homeschooled and *may* have at one point carried around a proverbial chip on my shoulder. Whether or not this is okay is not the point. I’m working through it.
Ezekiel seemed to carry the same harsh snark and honesty when speaking prophetically over the Israelites while they were in exile. He was a Zadokite priest, meaning his entire way of being and his whole identity was wrapped up in the Temple. He wasn’t the kind of priest who showed up when it was his time to serve. A Zadokite priest never left the Temple. So for Ezekiel to be forcefully removed from the Temple by the Babylonians and then exiled to Babylon would have created a severe identity crisis within him.
Throughout the book of Ezekiel, God uses this Zadokite priest with an identity crisis to speak truth over Israel and remind them of their identity within exile. But Ezekiel is most honest and snarky when it comes to the other priests, the shepherds and leaders of God’s people. And with his proverbial chip, Ezekiel prophesies about God’s disappointment over God’s leaders. They hadn’t been leading by example. They hadn’t been caring for the most vulnerable in their midst. They took more than they needed while neglecting, dominating, or gaslighting those without. They holed up and hid away in exile instead of tending to and spiritually caring for those they promised to be responsible for. They waited for God to do something, to rescue them or make everything right, and in their holier-than-thou waiting, they neglected everything and everyone else. Ezekiel was beginning to see that it was all for religious show instead of authentic faith.
As a person who found his identity and meaning in the Temple, he could have holed up, waited it out, and hid away from responsibility as well, especially since his job was taken from him. Instead he spoke truth to power. He boldly spoke the words of God out against the other priests and their own self-interest.
But friends, if you’re a disciple of Jesus then we’re all leading each other and following Jesus together. We might have some proverbial chips from past religious experiences or churches or leaders, but Ezekiel’s message is for all of us. Some of you feel exiled from your church buildings, places of business, and around the extended family table because of this pandemic. You’re wanting to be safe and careful, loving those most vulnerable. You’re putting your own needs second to others and while you know it’s the right thing to do, it doesn’t make it any less hard. Perhaps you’re experiencing your own sort of identity crisis because who are you without your business, church building, or holiday traditions?
The Shepherd-who-leads-us revealed a servant-leadership, where the first will be last and the weakest person is the greatest person. This backwards way of living invites us to lay down our disappointments for the sake of another. Our life and holidays won’t be the same this year as it was last year but you are still loved and you are still called to love. May we find grace for ourselves and each other today and know the Good Shepherd is with us even in our identity crises.
With (love),
Bethany