In the Lack

Dear friends,

I woke up this morning defeated. 

Maybe it was perpetuated by social media and the onslaught of beautiful families with cheerful Thanksgiving meals and ready-to-help children. I know social media is a farce, a perfected ideal we tend to uphold and showcase, runway ready. I understand the pull to maintain this facade, as I often find myself sustaining it as well.

When thinking ahead into my day or week and anticipate what’s to come within my family, I believe the best-case-scenario for every encounter and experience. My imagination includes joy, peace, kindness—fruit of the Spirit, I suppose. Unfortunately, when the moment arrives, the joy, peace, and kindness within those anticipated moments are lacking. Not within me. No one can remove what’s within me. It’s what’s lacking around me. 

Raising, parenting, and loving kids from trauma is the hardest work I’ve ever done. And today I feel defeated. Because my home, life, holidays, relationships, family, and experiences most often differ from many of the pictures I see on social media.

Which is why I wanted to write to you. Because behind every picture posted is a backstory of pain and peace, difficulty and joy, chaos and kindness. Every person and family has endured or is enduring hardship. Holidays seem to magnify the lack and declare defeat as a final word. But I want you to know that even in the lack there are enough tomorrows to anticipate with joy, peace, and kindness. 

When lack screams in my tear-stained face, desperate to undo the gritty hope I hold onto; when lack disrupts and dishevels everything around me, confident it’s pulling me apart piece by piece, I have found nothing can remove what’s within me. So I step back, away from the lack, to find I have all I need already. It’s more than enough. And it’s more than I need for myself. 

With the joy, peace, and kindness I have within me I will meet each moment of lack to fill their lack. Because what my kids might lack, I have in abundance. 

With (love),

Bethany