Virginity
Sunday, December 20, 2020
Luke 1:26-38
vs. 28-30 And coming in, the angel said to her, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was very perplexed at this statement, and was pondering what kind of greeting this was. And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.”
Dear Friend,
Growing up in a Protestant church, Mary was only mentioned around this time of year, and often on a donkey while going places and having babies. She wasn’t celebrated, honored, esteemed in the way my Roman Catholic siblings have exalted her. She was relegated into a painting or nativity scene or children’s play—a serene opening act to the main event. Mary was highlighted as obedient and submissive with her virginity as her most important trait—a trait perpetuated onto pubescent girls in youth groups across the globe throughout purity culture. Like, without Mary’s virginity intact, the story means nothing.
While Luke’s gospel certainly highlights Mary’s virginity to reveal God’s miraculous incarnation, the story of Mary isn’t her virginity; it’s her. Before she did anything or said yes to anything, God valued her. Not for her family lineage. Not for her birthing hips. Not for her education level or great baking skills or how influential she was or that she wasn’t married yet. God valued her for her. In a world where women were only known by the men they were attached to like property, where their value came from their fathers, brothers, husbands, or sons, Mary was favored and valued by God because she was.
Of course this perplexed her. Of course she had to ponder what kind of greeting this was. We tend to read through these passages in the Bible at lightening speed, oftentimes because we’ve read and heard them a hundred times before. But I don’t think the angel was with Mary for the two minutes it takes us to read, like he had some last minute Christmas shopping to do. I think he leaned against the olive tree while the sun warmed the earth and he gave her all the time she needed to process, ponder, evaluate what he just said—“favored one.”
I wonder how long it was before the angel Gabriel noticed how Mary’s eyes began to well up and her body began to shiver as she collapsed into a squat, wrapping her arms around her legs and rocking slightly. It was then that Gabriel gently and softly said, “Don’t be afraid, Mary. It’s true, God thinks you’re the bees knees and really believes you’re ready to do something great.”
Never once does he mention her virginity or family status or her connection to a man. Never once does Gabriel place an addendum to God’s favor.
Why do we speed past these readings instead of pondering them? Why do we assume everything happened quickly without any doubt, uncertainty, wondering, or questioning? Why do we read the Christmas story in a hurry, like everyone just arrived in a barn with a manger and cattle lowing and baby Jesus “no crying he makes,” like crying is a mark of sin?
Friends, there was no rush or hurry in this story. Gestation takes almost ten months and you can’t even rush that. God’s favor on Mary, on you and me, isn’t based on our family lines, our “purity,” our educational levels, or who we’re connected to. God’s favor comes from God to you and there’s no need to rush past this truth or distill it down to a specific reason. God’s favor towards you isn’t haphazardly dolled out without intention. God has given you favor for a reason you’re not meant to rush past. I believe God looks at you with joy and admiration. I know that you, oh highly favored one, won’t give birth to the Christ-child, but God wants to birth something new in and through you.
The Holy Spirit is born anew in your life, in your heart, in your mind, giving birth to abundant love in and through you. May you not rush past this truth but ponder it, savor it, contemplate it, question and wonder at it. And may this love be born again for the sake of your weary neighbors who are desperate for God’s love through you, oh highly favored one.
Happy 4th Sunday of Advent.
With (love),
Bethany